Thoughts I think as I scroll through Instagram

-       How often do you take a bath and do you use a bath bomb every single time?

-       Do you ever not take a picture of your breakfast?

-       Do you ever go for a run without posting distance, speed, calories burned, etc. on social media?

-       You are soooo slow. If I were that slow, I would not share it

-       Your kid is not very cute

-       I’m sorry, of course all kids are cute

-       Your food looks good

-       Maybe I do want a dog after all

-       It’s very obvious you just take selfies to show off your boobs

-       That looks fun

-       I miss you guys

Taco half full today

You know it's not the worst of days when you drop your sandwich and it lands butter up.
That just happened.
Yesterday was a pretty shitty day, all in all.
Today feels better.

We're not planning on having tacos tonight, but man... everyone else is. I know I said it before, but Swedes are seriously obsessed with Friday night tacos.
No Taco Tuesday here.
Tuesday is not Friday.
It struck me again this morning when the host of the kid's morning show Lou always watches while we get ready, announced that it was "tacos for dinner because it's Friday!"
So at the 9:30 coffee break I casually asked my co-workers, who's all having tacos tonight?
2 out of 5. 

After that unofficial poll I went and picked up the key to the apartment where Dylan's parents will be staying when they get here next week. The owner reminded me of a retired ballerina and the apartment smelled like cigarettes and expensive soap. She was very sweet. I think it will work out just fine.

Over and out. Happy weekend.

Not my finest moment- and don't study too hard

I wrote an email to a Dropbox support person today that was not very nice. I feel a little bad about that, but in my defense, in the original email to support, I quoted the instructions I had on hand (for how to end my free 30-day trial) and explained why they were not helpful.
Pheobe from support replied with the exact same instructions. 
I mean I know the whole point of a free trial is to get you hooked, or at least have you forget to cancel the subscription so you're charged for a month or two before you notice.
But canceling the Dropbox subscription was harder than the math section of the GREs. And I don't think that's reasonable.

In other news, my Russian co-worker has invited everyone to a housewarming party next Sunday. It's a late lunch, and the following Monday is a holiday so don't worry, we can have all the vodka with lunch. Should be fun. 
During coffee this morning she also casually shared how the girl with the best grades in her class growing up (straight As, rich parents, silver spoon, the works) was found murdered (stabbed) at age 17. So what's the point of having good grades? I mean, when you still might get stabbed.

Office Space

I don't have a case of the Mondays.
And why should I have to change when he's the one who sucks?

So true today.

I love my kid and all... but kids in general?!?

Although, maybe it's the parents? It's impossible not to make comparisons and it's not a competition, but just like life in general.... of course it is.
It's stressful.
Family close by is a blessing and a support and a huge help. It's also judgement and non-solicited advice.

Dylan is off on guy's weekend, which he totally deserves and it's also nice for me to (for once) be the one who stands on the inside, with the kiddo, as the door shuts behind the person leaving with all the guilt.
So Lou and I headed downtown and bought ice-cream and returned our library books and also spent some time in the library's children section, which is equipped with soft rugs, cozy furniture, reading nooks, toys and puzzles.
I ended up having to make good on my promise we were "leaving right this second if you don't pick up those books you threw across the room!"
And all the other kids were just super well behaved, and there was this couple there who had like a 5-month old and I kept wondering why the hell you bring a tiny baby to a library reading nook (no older siblings as far as I could tell) but I think they just did it to show off how perfect and loving and cuddly they were. Gross.
Lou also wiped a bogger on a book and I just ignored it.

Don't talk yourself out of a job

I'm thinking about that guy in Office Space, the people person, who was making a mat where you could jump to conclusions.... and the Bobs didn't understand just what he was really doing at work. (I'm talking to the customers so the engineers don't have to!)

Whatever, anyway.... my boss asked me yesterday if I thought my position (theoretically) could be split in two? Divided into more practical part and one more philosophical and planning part. My answer? Why not.

I mean, of course it could. Would it be the best solution for the institution? I don't know. Would it affect me in a way that would be ideal for me personally and professionally? I don't know that either. But those were not the questions. 

When I was working at Heritage Health, what seems like a really long time ago, and our team was being more or less made into a group of useless puppets, I remember being told, "don't say that!". And "don't talk yourself out of a job"

Maybe it's because I've never been terrified of loosing my dream job (cause I've never really had it, I came very close with my last position though) but I've never felt like there was any point in making yourself seem more valuable than you feel, at work.

So we'll see. I'm not worried. I'm glad I'm not the boss.

The future is female

This post might not make much sense, but

Michelle Obama is on TV.
I just love her.

About a month ago, March 8th. International Women's Day. A guy I hardly know, but Dylan's sort of friends with him, got into it with a girl I do know, about a post she shared on Facebook saying something along the lines of We're gonna run this shit.
We being women.
This shit being the world.
And he got all "if you're saying you're going to take over and "run this shit" how is that equality and why isn't there an International Men's Day (oh my god seriously, people who say that should get a hard punch to the testicles, cause they definitely have some)" and lots of other arguments, simultaneously showing off his large vocabulary and pettiness.

If you're a coach, or a parent, or a f-ing nice person, and you support somebody else to improve and grow and take a step forward, you grow too. You're not forced to take a step back.

When (white, straight) men are afraid of walking home alone late at night because a woman might jump them, or get creeped out when a woman sits too close to them on the subway, or feel a female co-worker is making more money only because she is female, then let's talk again. Then let's see if this We're gonna run this shit, went too far.

But until then, calm the f**k down.

Anyways, like I said, Michelle Obama is on TV and Lou is running around being 2 years old, which means adorable and super annoying at the same time, and I just want the world for her.... whatever she wants, if she wants to run it, I want her to be able to.

coping mechanisms

We're not going to talk about how it snowed all night. Not going to talk about how whoever is in charge of snow removal in this city seems to think nobody lives past the little stream that marks our neighborhood. And why shovel where nobody lives?

Whatever. Not relevant. It's all good. Because:
- It's Friday
- We're making home made pizza tonight and Lou is already all jazzed up for it
- Dylan found a potential part-time job and a soccer team
- (Most) everyone we know is healthy, reasonably happy, an doing ok

So snow... yeah, but my coffee is hot and strong.

Perspectives

Bitching about the snow and ever lacking signs of spring to my Russian co-worker. She is hilarious in a very serious way. So I complain about the weather and she looks me dead in the eye and tells me:
-You're weak. You've been made weak by living in warm places. That's why you can't handle this. You have forgotten reality and now you have to deal.
She has a point I guess. And special way to make small talk.